The business world is full of silly sounding or near-meaningless corporatespeak clichés. Even worse, everyone repeats ‘em until they become official. Like most industries, private equity has its own ridiculous language.

In the spirit of holiday light-heartedness, my Buyouts colleagues and I compiled some layman’s explanations of our favorite PE clichés, with everything from “Proprietary deal flow” to “Value add.”

So remember, this is what journalists really think when we hear boiler plate clichés. Feel free to add your own. Feel very free. Happy New Year!

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In the last month or so, coverage of private equity has gone from cautious to murky to bearish to downright apocalyptic.

The descent has been so rapid, in fact, that it's almost rendered Michael Wolff's recent Vanity Fair article on private equity MOA (moot on arrival).

His piece, titled "The Ultimate Bubble," asks the question on everyone's mind: Is private equity doomed, to what extent and which specific people or firms? Wolfe nails it when he says: "Chances are that what you're doing with your idle hours as a PE man is trying to figure out who deserves to crash and burn before you." (We at peHUB have our money on Apollo going down first, among the big boys)

He makes the point that PE hasn't crashed yet, because we've yet to see much blood in the water, and that's partly because you all are so damn private. But in the time between his writing the article and it going to press, some of his arguments against a PE crash have now come to fruition! For example, he says, at least PE firms haven't given money back yet. TPG did so last week. He says PE firms haven't announced any layoffs. Enter Blackstone, Carlyle, American Capital, AIG, and probably others we don't know about.

Add that to last week's dubious BCG study predicting almost half of all PE firms could cease to exist in the coming years. The study was met with a sneer (slightly from me, largely from commenters), yet the idea isn't that far-fetched. Both Wolff and BCG touch on a topic that may have started months ago as nervous whispers but has amplified to a worried roar and will only snowball in the new year: Private equity firms are in trouble.

So in 2009, expect to defend your industry and reason to exist. There are a laundry list of things working against you right now.

For his part, Wolff blasts PE for pretending to know how to

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The final list of 2008 LBO-backed bankruptcies has 49 Chapter 11s. Download it after the jump. Repeat offenders include our turnaround investing friends at Sun Capital and Cerberus and our non-turnaround investing friends at Catterton Partners, Carlyle Group, Thomas H. Lee Partners, and Madison Dearborn Partners.

The auto industry tops the list as worst-hit, claiming 11 of the Ch. 11's. Tied with automotive is retail, with 11 more of the 11's. Three of those are furniture retailers. Beyond that it's a toss-up with transportation + airlines claiming six, three media properties, three consumer products vendors, and two restaurants.

Four of the companies have emerged from bankruptcy; several others have headed for Chapter 7 liquidation.

For the record, it's nice to revisit the 2007 list, which included all of

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Well, it’s over. The year two thousand eight was wrought with bummers, busts, breakdowns and bad news for private equity, yet most of you managed to survive. For our part, peHUB emerged relatively unscathed, thanks to our loyal readers. (really, thanks!)

To close out the year with a self-indulgent bang, we’ve unlocked our top ten most popular stories from the archives. Enjoy reminiscing after the jump, and have a Happy New Year!

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Forget everything you’ve read about secondary prices, as it is “at worst stale, at best a fantasy,” according to a study released today by secondary intermediary Cogent Partners. (Download after the jump)

The findings are disheartening for any hopeful investor with stakes in the market and very exciting for buyers of distressed LP stakes. The average high bid for buyout and VC secondary assets declined to 61% of NAV in the second half of 2008, compared with the first half, the study says.

Notably, the drop marks the lowest level for secondary prices since 2003, since it’s on the heels of an 84.7% decline in the first half of 2008.

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