Our most popular post this week was about, the new/fake ecommerce company that sells t-shirts about VCs to VCs. For example, you can get a shirt says: “You had me at nanotech,” or “Your idea made me puke in my mouth a little.”

In the spirit of Friday, I put out a call in this morning’s email for PE-centric sayings (which often are similar to VC-centric ones). Maybe we’ll make some actual shirts with the best suggestions, and give them away at the next peHUB Shindig. Here’s what’s come in so far:

“Taxes? That’s what poor people are for”
“My leverage is bigger than yours”

“Got Stone Crabs?”
“We’re top quartile, just like everyone else”
“This t-shirt was proprietary” 

“I don’t buy t-shirts at auction”
“Covenants are for CHUMPS”

“My shirt is top quartile.”

“I ♥ Dividend Recaps”

“I’ll take the 15% tax rate on that carry”

“Giants beating the Pats?  Better chance of Bain buying Clear Channel”

“Recession 2008: There’s never been a better time to lay some PIPE”

“Hockey sticks make me horny”

Submit yours in the comment section below, or send me an email


  • I invested in Adam Aircraft, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

  • “PIPES: Just buy it.”

    “MBA: Many Bad Acquisitions” or

    “MBA: Made Bad Acquisitions”


    “DEAL OR NO DEAL” (with “no” being crossed out)

    “I (heart) PE CLASS”

    “In The Event of an Emergency: Please Make Your Way to the EXIT STRATEGY”


    “It’s all about the R.O.E. my d-o-double-g”

    “Cash Flow: Who needs it!”



    “Nabisco Crackers: Full of nooks and Kravis”

  • “Buyout Boomer”

    “Oversubscribed” / “I Only Accept Smart Money”

    “I Bought This Shirt On The Secondary Market”

  • “We know it when we see it”

  • Got Credit?

  • “Remedial English Teacher”

  • “FLUSH!”

  • – Watch out for the flying LBO (picture of flying saucer)

    – Credit Crunch? What Credit Crunch?

    – IPO (Imaginary Public Offering)

  • “We don’t sign NDA’s, we sign checks”

    “I’m not seeing your moat”

  • 1.“When banks hold the bag, we win!” (A silhouette of a guy in a suit with his fists in the air)

    2.(A guy in a suit and an attractive lady with cartoon bubbles by their mouths with this dialogue)

    Managing Partner: “Show me some skin, baby.”

    Attractive Lady: “That’s what banks are for.”

    3.“Got Money?” (A picture of Schwarzman with a $100 bill as a mustache)

    4.“You had me at high-yield”

    5.“LBO+15%=SEC can kiss my ass”

  • “Wake me when this pitch is over”

  • “You should probably just keep that idea to yourself dude”

  • My Multiples Aren’t the Only Thing That’s Expanding

  • Bumper stickers or t-shirts:

    “I brake for low valuations.”

    “My other car is a Tesla (well maybe, someday…).”

    “If you can read this, you’re close to exit.”

  • A reason for the re-trade??

    We don’t need no stinkin’ reason for a re-trade!!!

  • Northern Rocks!

  • Tranche warfare has no conventions.

    CDO(squared)clubs-alway under par.

  • “I went to Schwarzman’s birthday party and all I got was this lousy t-shirt”

    “Venture Capital – we put the FUN in fundraising!”

    “Yes, my BlackBerry IS more important than your pitch”

  • Can I penetrate your market?

  • Volatility Happens.

  • SEIU is for losers…and poor people

  • “I’m holding all the Custom Adjustable Rate Debt Structure” (CARDS)


    “My government invested in Northern Rock, I got nothing”.

  • 80 is the new par

  • “There are only 3 certain things in life: Death, Taxes & 20% Carry”

  • Models (Excel) and Bottles (Crystal Geyser)
    PE Analyst: Sunday is the new Monday

  • Venture Capital – Hand us your wallet and hold on for the ride

  • “We don’t pay for research –
    We use the Google.”

    “I invested in your company,
    and all I got was this stupid t-shirt”

    “I invested in your fund,
    and all I got was this stupid t-shirt”

    “We ripped off the last LP
    to pass the savings on to you”

    “Remember that deal we were gonna do?
    Well, funny story…”

    “You want some fries with that shake-up?”

    “How many Private Equity players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None – That’s manaagement’s job.”

    “(musical notes) Can’t find a better plan (musical notes)”

    “We’re generalists –
    We’ll take money from anyone.”

    “We focus on a particular kind of deal…
    the kind that makes us money.”

    “We focus exclusively on the…
    which sector are you in again?”

  • “Don’t Recap Me, Bro!”

  • “Oh Hungry? Oh Value.”
    “New Thinking. New Cost.”
    “Did Somebody Say Market?”
    “Every Kiss Begins With Market.”
    “My Doctor Says ‘Market’
    “Reach Out and Touch Value.”
    “Tastes Great, Less Value.”
    “You’ll Wonder Where the Yellow Went, When You Brush Your Teeth with Value.”
    “The Best Value Under One Roof.”
    “The Sweet You Can Eat Between Meals Without Ruining Your Value.”
    “Melts In Your Value, Not In Your Hand.”
    “Value Proposition Tested, Mother Approved.”
    “Good Money Has Danish Written All Over It.”
    “Doing It Right Before Your Money.”
    “So Easy, No Wonder Monitor is #1.”
    “P-P-P-Pick Up A Monitor.”
    “What Can Need Do For You?”
    “Get Serious. Get Need.”

  • The most successful financier was Noah. He floated stock, while everything around him went into liquidation.

  • “If you’re reading this, you’re fired.”
    “The SEIU says the darndest things!”
    “Manor Care is safe in our hands. Just ask the new CEO, Dr Harold Shipman.”

  • “Don’t tell us to invest your money and then complain when we fire some of your members!”

    “2 and 20? That’s what she said.”

  • 2 certainties in life: Death and 15% Taxes

  • “Call me Sallie Mae, cause I’m the MAC daddy.”

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