peHUB Second Opinion 3.30

Deal Professor: Some thoughts on the absence of deals. “Private equity remains dead, dead, dead.” (Dealbook)

Op-Ed: We’re not the boss of AIG, by Carl Icahn. (NY Times)

A Culprit! The pay scale of banks is at least part of the reason they failed, a new survey says. (WSJ)

Shouts & Murmurs: Woody Allen on Madoff. (New Yorker)

Reliable Source: More evidence of the NY Post’s credibility… The supposed Wall Streeter turned stripper they recently profiled was an actress, it turns out. (Huffington Post)

If This, Then That? An anonymous blogger on Seeking Alpha writes that (paraphrase) because CalPERS has invested in one serious dud, Apollo VI, the entire pension is screwed. Now it is true that Apollo VI is going to be ugly, and a number of CalPERS’ mega-buyout investments look bad, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. For one, those PE investments are not only the bad performers-they’re catching up with the drop in the write-downs in the funds’ public market valuations. For two, the poster argues that Apollo and CalPERS haven’t written things down enough yet. As the poster himself conceded, just wait for Q4 numbers. And lastly, this post could be, in some ways, a good argument in favor of the AICPA proposal that LPs not merely rely on a GP’s holding value of its funds. (Seeking Alpha)

Interesting: Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails explains the concert ticket market from an artist’s point of view. (NIN.com)

NASA’s conundrum: Comedian Steven Colbert’s successful joke campaign for his audience to write in votes for the new space station’s living quarters to be named “Colbert” has posed a bit of a conundrum for NASA. (Reuters)

Exclusive: The FT’s interview with President Obama. (FT)