Acropalyptic: The Fed has lent $9.2 billion to foreign governments. On the one hand: that wouldn’t even bail out Citigroup’s fingers. On the other hand, it’s still money we don’t really have. Unfortunately, we are also short on jokes about Greece, which is the more pressing issue for coverage of this crucial matter.
Spanked: Asset-backed securities will now be rated by either S&P or Moody’s, as chosen by an independent board created by Congress. So obviously our next Congressional hearings about inflated CDO ratings will be about how Congress failed to get it right. Just kidding; that would never happen.
American companies: Loathsome tax cheats that even the Tea Party would condemn, stealing $60 billion from America every year, according to Bloomberg’s Jesse Drucker. Related: Have you called your auditor today?
Brian Moynihan: He almost didn’t even get the job as CEO of Bank of America, but he has made up for it by elbowing JP Morgan’s Jamie Dimon out of the way to become Obama’s favorite banker.
NIMBYism: Venture capital firms want nothing to do with private equity firms as far as tax rules are concerned in the new financial-reform bills. Related: You really do need to call your auditor.
Beautiful CEOs: Apparently CEOs are more attractive people. It’s science! Well, maybe CEOs are more attractive than scientists, but let’s be honest: this is not a world of bombshells.
Obama: Those who disapprove of his politics must now discuss whether he is, as one area woman claimed “a hottie with a smokin’ body.” Well, he’s sort of like CEO of the United States so clearly the scientists are all over this.