Ridiculous Press Releases of the Day: Recession

As I’ve outlined time and time again, reporters receive a host of silly, poorly written, inappropriate, or just plan nonsensical press releases each day. Every so often I like to give you readers a peek at the cream of the crop.

Today we have a dispatch that I, as a business reporter for a trade publication with a very narrow focus (the “PE” kinda gives it away), have been asked by a PR person to craft into a compelling business story. I’m trying my best here. It’s from Black Radiance, a lipstick brand that is benefiting from the recession because it is red. You see, our friends at Creative Media Marketing have informed me of a theory that red lipstick sales increase in the time of economic turmoil. Allow them to explain:

Red lips evoke a sense of power in women allowing them stand bold and tall in the face of adversity. So it only makes sense that red lipstick sales are on the rise in America’s recent recession, especially amongst drug store brands like Black Radiance.

That theory is supported by the bullet-proof evidence that Black Radiance’s sales have increased from 12 tubes a week to 52 tubes a week, according to Black Radiance’s senior brand manager. (Since there’s no other information, its unclear what the “52 tubes a week” refers to, but I can not imagine that figure is impressive in the world of lipstick sales…)

Parris goes on to extrapolate on the recessionary healing powers of red lipstick:

“Red is a power color – when you apply red lipstick you feel stronger, more confident and ready to take on the world no matter what the challenge,” continues Parris.

Perhaps this is true, and if there are any color cosmetics experts out there, I’d love to hear further proof. Perhaps the men pulling the puppet strings in D.C. and on Wall Street should try some Black Radiance and all our economic problems will wither away!